Discover more from Public Enemy Number 1
Rep. Jennifer Canady's blood-soaked lies launch Florida's long forced-birth war
Our moral counteroffensive will force the Canady marriage to own every drop of blood and fluid they force women to spill. And it will last as long as it needs to.
When she was a candidate, I gave Rep. Jennifer Canady, R-Lakeland, every chance to tell the voting public she planned to stick the filthy, gnarled fingers of Florida’s government into your daughter’s uterus before she knows she’s pregnant. I pushed her and pushed her and pushed her to reveal this at an NAACP forum in Lakeland last summer. Here’s the key excerpt of my recent story about it:
She was asked multiple times in an NAACP forum if she supported maintaining legal abortion at 15 weeks. She filibustered and then lied and declared she would take a passive approach to forced birth law.
Specifically she said: “What happens in the future will be something we need to watch.” This was after I pressed and pressed her to get an actual answer. Eventually the moderator had to stop me from asking.
Like most forced birthers I know, Canady, the House sponsor of the brutal new 6-week ban, is a coward and a liar.
An oathbreaker’s bloodlust
Canady’s lies should have gotten her disciplined by her employer, Lakeland Christian School, for violating its Biblical oath. But its Biblical oath is nothing but bullshit aimed at hating gay people or whoever else MAGA tells it too. See how it used the oath to unsuccessfully attempt to strong-arm our popular elected mayor.
Canady shows that LCS is the most dangerous, anti-Lakeland institution in our city today. I’ll have more on the need to isolate and defeat LCS as a fake Christian dictatorship factory in a moment.
In the meantime, see my full story below on Canady’s oathbreaking, with video links to her lying. You really should compare her lying and dissembling to the voters on video to her triumphant huggy/kissy in the picture above as the sponsor of the unspeakably violent law she tried so hard to conceal she was planning.
And then watch the video of her exulting right behind TrumpSantis at the behind-close-doors, dead-of-night bill signing. She’s on the left in the still picture below, trying to get a pen to take home. It’s funnier on video; she’s sooooo thirsty for that pen. And man, get you somebody who looks at you like Jennifer Canady looks at TrumpSantis.
No actual exceptions: you have to go beg Grady Judd to certify you were raped as the clock ticks
Pay no attention to anything Canady says about exceptions — or anything else in her bill. If her mouth is moving, she’s lying about it. Here’s a good rundown on the law’s content from the Tampa Bay Times. Note the bold.
Key excerpt on “exceptions”:
Currently, Florida law allows abortion up until 15 weeks of pregnancy. There are no exceptions for cases like rape. The bill would limit abortion to six weeks of gestation, but says pregnancies that are the result of rape, incest or human trafficking can be terminated up to 15 weeks.
However, to use that exception, a police or medical report, court record or other documentation would need to be provided showing evidence of the crime.
Democrats said crimes like rape and incest are widely underreported and suggested amendments that would allow sworn statements instead of the other documentation. But Republicans rejected those amendments.
That’s not a rape or incest exception. That’s just victim torture. We’ll catalogue more of the brutality built into making this all function in subsequent articles.
But I predict you’ll see an enormous spike in rape accusations against Florida Man. People respond to their incentives. In every way, if you’re a men’s rights, Jordan Peterson-loving, child-support hating MAGA bro, this brutal law is a disaster for you, too. But take heart, you’ll also get to rat out your girlfriend if she doesn’t want to carry your baby.
Carnage and pregnancy surveillance and abortion hunting units
Florida is the red state champion of terminated pregnancies — 80K per year, right up there with New York and California. That’s an FSU home game amount of women now subject to unspeakable brutality. And Florida abortions have spiked under DeSantis.
To impose a 6-week ban at that scale, to force women and girls to full-term before they know they’re pregnant, means carnage — for good conservative girls too. The carnage at 15 weeks, right here in Lakeland, is already brutal, thanks to Kelli Stargel’s inability to write with clarity.
Six weeks, which is an effective total ban without any workable exceptions, will require massive state surveillance and violence to enforce.
I will get Lakeland Police, the Polk Sheriff’s Office, and State Attorney Brian Haas on the record in the near future about how they plan to track pregnancies and organize their offices and agencies to hunt and punish women and girls who terminate their pregnancies.
And understand, this isn’t just — or even primarily — about the 80,000 women who choose not to give birth to Florida Man’s child. The state now operates in your or your loved one’s viscera from the moment of conception. Every. single. pregnancy.
Your pregnancy — and that of your loved ones — is subject to official state power and violence from the moment you conceive. And snitches will be everywhere.
I would urge every woman to stay far away from pregnancy snitch centers like Marilyn Paul’s so-called “Options for Women.” I promise you she will have a direct line to law enforcement. Marilyn will say she doesn’t; but she also told me to my face, when I made a good faith visit to her pregnancy snitch center, that she is “pro-choice.” (Yes, I knew she was lying, laughably.) Marilyn was also with Canady — publicly supporting her — at the NAACP event where Canady lied to all of us. Peas and pods.
This bill also likely provides Marilyn a massive personal windfall, with which to torment women in crisis pregnancies. More on that later.
Make the Canady nepo couple own every bloody horror
There’s no way to stop this in the immediate short-term. TrumpSantis already signed it behind closed doors in the dead of night Thursday.
The last step is for the Florida Supreme Court to render Florida’s constitutional amendment about privacy meaningless. You can’t have mass pregnancy surveillance/state suppression and privacy at the same time.
Jennifer Canady’s husband is Florida Supreme Court Justice and former congressman Charles Canady. (Yes, of course, she’s a nepo. And, of course, Charles is himself a nepo, betraying the work his dad for Lawton Chiles, who I’m sure is spinning in his grave. It’s nepo all the way down.)
Charles once got a waitress at a Lakeland Olive Garden fired because she objected to his role in impeaching Bill Clinton over his Monica Lewinsky behavior. Punishing working women just lives in these people’s bones.
So if you think Jennifer Canady doesn’t know, right now, how her husband and the Supreme Court are going to rule, I’ve got a Lakeland Christian voucher to sell you. She knows, as surely as Clarence Thomas knows who’s paying for his next luxury vacation. Indeed, Lakeland Christian’s employee oath requires literal Biblical wifely obedience to Charles.
They won’t be on different sides of any outcome.
How the future wins
We win the long war against forced birth the same way we won the short one against the CCDF book banners — who have now changed their name and logo because we beat them so badly. (Seriously, they have. I’ll follow up some other time.) We will rid ourselves of this barbarism the same way rid ourselves of the Munn Park Confederate Monument and Lakeland First as unhealthy community influences. We’re still here; they’re all gone.
We win by going on on offense — with moral confrontation and aggression — in any non-violent form you can think of. We win by giving Jennifer Canady and her husband the T.I.T.S. Nolte treatment relentlessly. We win by creating the historical record in real time that will define them forever — for posterity, for their grandkids.
The Canady marriage’s womb invasion comes with much higher stakes than those other battles. Its well-springs of power are more entrenched. It may take considerably longer to roll back the Canady invasion than it took to reclaim public space from the CCDF and Lakeland First. Many women will die and suffer during that time. Birth rates will plummet, at a time in which they are already plummeting, as people avoid pregnancy because the Canadys have gutted maternity care. Florida, already America’s oldest growth state by a mile, will get older and older and older.
Morality and horror aside, all of those outcomes are stupid on their own terms for the fake “life” side, which won’t even try to protect a born baby from an AR-15 or provide it with the capital needed to make a life. And good luck, LEDC and Publix, in recruiting “high skill” young people to submit their bodies to Grady Judd for the privilege of living in Polk County.
For all that — and because of all that — we will expel Florida’s rusty speculum much more quickly than we expelled the Confederate Monument from Munn Park.
The forced birth war will not end with a 6-week ban, seasoned with victim-torturing rape “exceptions.” Like the Confederate Monument, there can be no peace with it until it’s gone. It’s an either/or question. And there is no other “victory” for the Canady marriage to win. It’s all trench warfare now in defense of the indefensible against the overwhelming, mobilized will of their neighbors.
To be clear, Jennifer Canady is not powerful.
No legislator is powerful in the TrumpSantis dictatorship. If she didn’t sponsor the bill, somebody else would have. Canady’s husband is more powerful than she is, but far less than a normal Supreme Court justice would be. He’s as obedient to TrumpSantis as the LCS oath requires Jennifer to be to him.
But they’ve made themselves the living face of a brutal state incursion. I thank them for it. Faces help focus.
Our moral counteroffensive will force the Canadys of the world to own every drop of blood and fluid they force your wives and daughters and granddaughters to spill; every terror they inflict on pregnancies; every tube that ruptures without relief; every informant from Marilyn Paul’s crisis pregnancy snitch center; every raid on a rape victim Grady’s abortion hunting unit makes. They don’t want to own that, which is why Jennifer lied to Lakeland last summer.
Roe was a sort of tenuous peace, allowing people of good faith to live together within the context of the complex moral challenges that pregnancy and the beginnings of life can present. Roe let people like Marilyn Paul compete openly for the choice of women. Even 15 weeks could have been a lasting truce; but they couldn’t stand it.
They wanted your blood. They wanted war. And this is simply war — on every pregnancy. You started it, forced birthers; but you can’t ever end it.
Friday was the best day you and Jennifer Canady and Marilyn Paul will ever have when it comes to celebrating forced birth and your war on decency. Jennifer will only get to hug Charles in private when he fires the next big artillery shell at Lakelands girls and women from his corrupt court. Her time to bask in attention is now.
And then it’s nothing but defense, forever, against your own kids. And I’m writing your biographies right now.
Your daughters and granddaughters — and the people who love them — aren’t going to just lie back and accept government as the permanent, gynecological transgressor of their most intimate tissue. They won’t accept Grady Judd as the abusive foreman of their always life-threatening work and suffering to create children.
They, and the people who love and care about them, will remind you coldly, relentlessly, that you are the bad guys — forever, until we don’t have to. That’s not even counting all the creative approaches to resistance and subversion of your brittle power that our brilliant young people will create.
LCS is the seat of fake Christian dictatorship in our community. It wants your money and your submission.
Finally, I was perfectly happy to ignore Lakeland Christian School when it did not actively seek to dominate my personal and civic life with its fake Christian values.
But in just the last year or so, Lakeland Christian, as an institution has invaded the civic life of my city in a number of ways:
It tried to strong-arm our decent, Christian Republican mayor, who won 67 percent of Lakeland’s vote against a gross MAGA candidate, into public hostility toward LGBT people. He wouldn’t buckle; and they forced him off their board as punishment, citing that same Biblical oath that Jennifer Canady took.
Helped Jennifer Canady attack the bodies of the women and girls I love.
LCS is an enemy of decency and shared citizenship in this city. It wants to subject you to fake Christian dictatorship — whose rules it will not follow itself — and take your money for its parents and for Jennifer Canady. We have to reckon with that as a community and protect ourselves from it.
But like Canady, LCS is not that powerful. There is no reason to submit to it and every reason to aggressively stigmatize and defeat it as a would-be ruling force, like we did the CCDF and other book-banning MAGA freaks. We’ll discuss that quite often in the coming weeks and months. We have time; it’s going to be a long, ugly war.
And remember: this is what you wanted, forced birthers, when you broke the peace.