Gov. Crank endorses one mask mandate-loving CCDF crank, but not the other two CCDF cranks. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also, the "anti-groomer" DeSantis candidate in Polk likes creepy, gross public jokes about women's breasts. So there's that. Well done, everyone.

Gov. DeSantis may need to have a chat with whichever Facebook fascist flunky is picking the cranks he’s endorsing in local School Board races. This is the one guy he picked in Polk County: Mr. Mask Mandate. Check out the all caps and the logo.

I’m not going to use the name of the candidate — or his opponent. I’m here to mock the governor, not amplify him. But you can figure it out from the hilarity above.

And, by the way, I should say I fully support the right of this Ron DeSantis-endorsed candidate to protect himself by imposing a mask mandate on members of the public who enter his business. But I don’t think Ron DeSantis does; and I didn’t hitch my wagon to the so-called County Citizens Defending Freedom (CCDF), the performative buffoons who have tried to ride the mask wars to power.

But there’s more …

In addition to the personal benefit mask mandate, the governor’s chosen Polk crank candidate likes, well, creepy, gross public jokes about women’s breasts.

Link here. Let’s recap the key quotes:

We quickly realized to suite [suite?LOL] Rick’s needs T.I.T.S needed to be more developed…By enlarging our size and skills T.I.T.S. is now visible to the entire world.

I sincerely apologize for making you encounter the phrase “Rick’s needs” in relation to “T.I.T.S. needed to be more developed.”

But do you want that dude creeping the halls of George Jenkins High, which would be one of “his” schools, thinking about “T.I.T.S. development”?

And should one assume that Gov. DeSantis’ chosen candidate plans to bring the T.I.T.S. program to Polk County public schools? Will CCDF parents, who consider Beloved pornography, demand it?

LOL. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Gov. DeSantis, why did you only pick the pro-mask mandate, pro-T.I.T.S. candidate? Are the other two CCDF cranks too gross even for you?

Mr.-don’t-come-in-my-shop without-a mask-because-my-health-actually-matters-to-me. NO EXCEPTIONS except for T.I.T.S. is actually just 1/3 of the crank/criminal slate of candidates trying to “groomer” and “book ban” their way onto the Polk School Board with the CCDF.

I will refer to DeSantis’ guy “Rick,” from here forward, as Crank #1.

DeSantis stayed away from Crank #2 and Crank #3 — Terry Clark and Jill Sessions. I don’t know why. There is no meaningful policy or attitude difference between them and Crank #1 — other than maybe the T.I.T.S. jokes and personal business mask mandates.

Clark and Sessions did, however, hire a CCDF-recruited convicted felon campaign manager, with a record of:

• Serving 33 months in prison

• Cheating churches, veterans, and special needs students

• Collecting six PPP loans, including $60K for a charity that never had more than $16K in revenue

• And who is actively defying a court to repay the Houston church he grifted.

Maybe the DeSantis henchpeople came across that fact in their research and stayed away from Crank #2 and Crank #3 — even though Terry Clark claimed Crank #1 was “using” the same campaign manager.

Indeed, I would think all that lib-owning crime and church-cheating would be a selling point for Gov. Crank. But perhaps not. Perhaps the other two are too gross, even for you, Gov. Crank? Only you can answer.

I regret to inform you that DeSantis is just a crank — a less charming version of Ed Shoemaker. You all know it.

So many of my GOP friends and acquaintances are embarrassed by the moral and civic reality Trump forced them into. A lot of them look to Ron DeSantis as a way out.

They want him to be Jeb Bush soooo bad. But Jeb Bush isn’t even Jeb Bush. And Ron DeSantis is just Ed Shoemaker with billionaires.

Indeed, who said this about a fully legal Espionage Act- related search warrant, authorized by a federal judge, and executed by an FBI run by a Republican Donald Trump appointed? Ed Shoemaker or Ron DeSantis?

LOL. I report; you decide.

A crank, either way. You would want nothing to do with either of them in your daily civic and family life.

And yet …

… look at the sheer crankery that idolatry makes you swallow. Look at what they make you give.

Here’s a secret. It’s ok not to give these people the last full measure of your devotion. Step away from the cranks. You can do it.

Otherwise, it’s gonna be T.I.T.S. all the way down.