Grady Judd nearly kills a mother and baby with his mouth, then dupes thirsty, lazy reporters yet again

Oct 10: "You shoot him so that he looks like grated cheese." Oct 18: "You don't at shoot people." From tired material to lousy performance, America's most embarrassing sheriff is declining quickly.

Grady Judd, Oct. 10: “…shoot him so he looks like grated cheese”

Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd recently took his tiresome, repetitive, death vaudeville to hurricane-stressed southwest Florida. Via Fox News, he told hurricane-stressed citizens (and everyone else) to grab their guns and open up on “looters.”

I would highly suggest that if a looter breaks into your home, comes into your home while you're there to steal stuff, that you take your gun and you shoot him. You shoot him so that he looks like grated cheese. Because you know what? That's one looter that won't break into anyone else's home and take advantage of them.

Notice the tiny, little fine print of “if” in bold. It’s doing yeoman’s work in lifting the other 60 words in that paragraph. Grady is smart enough and devious enough to always lawyer up his incitement.

He’s had plenty of practice.

Grady Judd, Oct. 18: “You don’t shoot at people.”

Exactly eight days later, Grady issued a “harsh rebuke,” according to very very gullible and/or quote-thirsty NBC news, to a father and son back at home in Polk County. They just happened to miss Grady’s little “if” on Oct. 10.

This father and son tried to turn a woman they thought was robbing them into “grated cheese.” In doing so, Grady Judd nearly killed a “good samaritan” mother and her baby with his mouth and incitement.

That same mouth and incitement may help explain the massive 70 percent murder rate spike Florida’s most famous sheriff oversaw in Polk County in 2020, by far the biggest of any large county in Florida. I called it “The Grady Effect.”

By 2021, he was so powerless to protect his county from homicide that he begged people to stop murdering and chill out and eat a moon pie. I am not joking."Chill out. Drink a 7up. Eat a MoonPie. Quit murdering people." That’s the quote.

Yes, yes, Grady, tell us about the “craziest stuff,” yet again., Eyeroll.

Here are the choicest bits from his latest comedy show, concerning the would-be “grated cheese” makers in Winter Haven.

He said the incident ranks among “the craziest stuff that I have seen in a while.”

“Here you’ve got these two guys who are way out of line. Way out of control. They don’t understand the Florida law,” he said. 

He noted that Florida has a “stand your ground law,” which allows people to use or threaten force to protect their homes if they feel someone is threatening them or is trying to make forcible entry, but “that doesn’t mean you can go search people out and shoot them.”

“And news flash, even if the first guy would’ve been the burglary suspect, if he was, they shot the wrong person," Judd said.

Judd said neither Colonacosta nor his son had criminal records until Saturday morning, adding: “Our goal is for them to go to prison. 

“You don’t shoot at people. You don’t leave the security of your home and go out and chase people down,” Judd said in a sharp rebuke. 

“Sharp rebuke.” LOL.

Very very very tired material

Grady Judd says some tired version of “grated cheese” or “craziest stuff I have seen” most every week.

But his audience is never his specific audience, the people he’s actually talking to in person. He’s talking to the internet, meme makers, gullible and lazy reporters like NBC’s Marlene Lenthang, who can drive his latest nonsense to the first two.

Grady still gets ratings; but he has not updated his material in years. He’s like the Jean Smart character in Hacks. Or Matlock.

The Grady Show is a one trick act: wherever there is human stress or anger or fear, Grady Judd will go there to make it worse and urge violence because 1) it gets him on video 2) feeds his addiction to attention and adoration, which is worsening daily.

In 2020, at the peak of George Floyd tension, Grady Judd invented a “riot” that never happened in Lakeland and used a white supremacist hoax about “Antifa” invasions of Polk County neighborhoods say this:

The people of Polk County like guns. They have guns. I encourage them to own guns. And they’re going to be in their homes tonight with their guns loaded. And if you try to break into their homes to steal, to set fires, I’m highly recommending they blow you back out of the house with their guns.

And then in 2021, in the aftermath of Q-Anon-type former marine wiping out a Polk County family — while deputies staged outside the house — Judd said this:

It would have been nice if he would have come out with a gun and then we’d have been able to read a newspaper through him. But when someone chooses to give up, we take them into custody peacefully. If he’d have given us the opportunity, we’d have shot him up alive. But he didn’t because he’s a coward.

I mean, you could so easily mad lib “turn him into grated cheese” for “shot him up alive.”

Grief vulture in green

And between Oct. 10 and Oct. 18., between “grated cheese” and “you don’t shoot,” Grady Judd jumped in on Oct. 13 to rehash his other tired, favorite material: exploiting the grief and pain of Parkland survivors to feed his attention addiction.

If there's ever been anyone on the face of the earth that deserved the death penalty, it was that evil, violent, murdering piece of trash that massacred those children. If you can't get the death penalty for that in Broward County, that's not a safe county to live in.

I claim no standing to opine on how quickly MAGA shooter Nikolas Cruz dies in captivity. But Grady Judd’s death penalty statement is so nonsensical and so contrary to any basic understanding of policing and data, that it’s worth repeating.

If you can't get the death penalty for that in Broward County, that's not a safe county to live in.

Every year since at least 1990, the murder rate of death penalty states has been higher than non-death penalty. Every. single. year. It was 4 percent higher in 1990; in 2019, it was 25 percent. Grady Judd could find that in 30 seconds of Googling if they don’t teach it in fancy “criminal justice” programs.

Also a book banner soft on election crime

Grady Judd also recently become a big book banner, who is now throwing a massive political emo fit because the elected School Board wouldn’t let him dictate to Polk County parents what their kids can read.

And together with Polk State Attorney Brian Haas, Judd is refusing to acknowledge that the only “successful” book banner Polk School Board candidate has officially declared that he committed 10 election misdemeanors and a felony. It’s been publicly known for eight weeks. But Ron DeSantis endorsed that guy and Judd/Haas are obviously protecting him and the other book banners. Full background here:

The dope is on the table; and the State Attorney and Sheriff are protecting the CCDF and DeSantis

Grady Judd has proven as soft and quiet on DeSantis-endorsed crime as he is on his own murder rate spike.

Chronicle of a collapsing legend

Judd’s decline is a sad spectacle that everyone — including the people who have loved the Grady show for years — know is happening. How do I know this? Because no one is pushing back against me or threatening me or even disagreeing with me as I cover Judd and chronicle his collapse in a way he’s never been covered before — in Polk County or anywhere else. No one.

The best his people can muster is embarrassed silence.

I’m not as powerful as Grady; but with the fall of The Ledger, I am the closest thing to narrative-defining editorial page this community has. And I base every conclusion on honest observation. Nobody is calling me a liar. And why would they? I’m just quoting the sheriff. I’m not going to stop. There’s not much Grady can do about it — except change his behavior or invent something to arrest me for. What’s more likely?

I’ll be clear: Grady Judd should retire before someone dies — directly — because of his deterioration, his attention addiction, and his lack of professional discipline. That very very nearly happened in Winter Haven this week.

When it does happen — and it’s due to happen — it will be chronicled here without pity for a reputation Grady himself shreds daily.