Illegitimate DeSantis School Board member amends *11* campaign reports, somehow makes it all much dumber

Rick "T.I.T.S." Nolte releases the Kraken on his own campaign documents; but he still won't produce a check that says he's not a self-declared felon. The rest is the stupidest kind of chaos.

I have to bring back Flaming Apocalypse Elmo for this.

Polk County School Board Member Rick “T.I.T.S” Nolte, endorsed by Gov. Ron DeSantis, has finally filed has “termination” campaign report — and amended 11 others. Eleven. With a 1 and a 1.

And what have we learned about the dumbest, most embarrassing, most institution-killing political scandal in the history of Polk County? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Is Nolte still claiming to be a felon? I think so.

Loan or contribution doesn’t matter, Rick. It’s the cash. Cash. Cash. Cash.

The felony cash contribution I annotated below has been part of Nolte’s official campaign records since March.

He’s now amended it to read like this:

You’ll notice that the “contribution type” has changed from “cash” to “loan.”

This is an irrelevant amendment. Cash is what matters. It’s a felony to either contribute to your own campaign or accept a loan to your campaign of more than $5,000 in cash. It’s a misdemeanor to accept a cash loan or contribution greater than $50.

Nolte has produced no check of which I’m aware for $5,200 from on or about March 30. If he can’t do that, he remains a self-declared felon. It does not matter whether he describes the nature of his felony as “contribution” or “loan.”

The dumbest timeline

So why is “cash” or “check” not a separate drop down menu category for reporting?

You’d have to ask the Supervisor of Elections Office for the official reason. But I’m sure they will tell you some version of the following, as rendered in my words:

It never occurred to us that any candidate would be so crooked, so stupid, and so protected by corrupt power that he would openly report a felony contribution of $5,200 in cash and then need to recategorize it seven months later as a loan.

We only have “cash” as an option at all in “contribution type” because you can “contribute” up to $50 in cash to a campaign.

Really, who would openly accept a felony cash loan for his campaign? Why would we give them the option to report it?

We might as well include “misdemeanor” and “felony” in the “contribution type” options. Should we do that?

Yes, I think so.

I think it’s time to add “felony” and “misdemeanor” to the drop down options for “contribution type.”

I can’t even — and I never say that

This absurdity is, of course, another abject humiliation for Sheriff Grady Judd and State Attorney Brian Haas, who can’t bring themselves to talk about or act on Nolte’s self-declared criminality or his “T.I.T.S. needed to be more developed” social media groomer manifesto.

Haas and Judd demonstrate absurd corruption every day just to protect Ron DeSantis, who endorsed Nolte, from embarrassment. They damage the credibility of their public institutions every minute. They tell everybody: T.I.T.S. doesn’t have to obey the law because Ron DeSantis likes him and we have no will or integrity of our own. You, however …

I consider “I can’t even” a pretty dumb and whiny internet saying. I try to avoid it at all costs because, mostly, I think I can even — and moreso.

But “T.I.T.S.” Nolte’s amendments as a group have defeated my ability to even analyze them. I’m just going to turn that suffering over to Gary White with The Ledger, with my thanks. Here are the highlights:

In all, Nolte submitted amendments to 11 of his previous campaign filings. The revisions include deletions of two contributions by check totaling $10,000 from Nolte to his own campaign and the addition of loans in the same amount. Nolte also reported refunds to individual donors in amounts ranging up to $280. In a single amended report covering June 18 to July 1, he reported refunding contributions to more than 20 individual donors.

In an amended report from June, Nolte deleted a payment of $2,718.67 to Summit Printing in Kansas City, Missouri, designated for "shirts," and added an expenditure in the same amount to "Ligion Marketing" of Lakeland for "signs." In another revision, Nolte deleted a payment of $1,012.69 to Summit Printing in April for "marketing" and added an expense in the same amount to "Ligion Marketing" for "shirts." …

… In an amended report covering Aug. 6 to Aug. 18, Nolte listed a refund of $1,000 to Education for All, a political-action committee based in Tallahassee. The amended filing added a contribution of $1,000 from Friends of Ron DeSantis, a political committee based in Tampa to support Florida's governor. …

…Nolte also listed an expenditure of $1,078.77 to Electioneering Consulting Inc. of Tallahassee on Nov. 21. The registered agent for that company is Coates Law Firm of Tallahassee, state records show. The firm’s managing partner, Richard Coates, “has advised some of Florida’s highest elected officials, including Governors, members of the Florida Cabinet, House Speakers and Senate Presidents,” according to a biography on the firm’s website.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don’t know, man. You tell me.

When it comes to making any sense of “T.I.T.S.” Nolte’s records and continued illegitimate public life and taxpayer-funded salary — I can’t even.