Scott Franklin's golden sombrero

I'm not sure *anyone* in the entire slapstick GOP House has struck out as many times, on as many different pitches, as Rep. Scott Franklin, Polk's silliest elected official not named Nolte.

In rapid succession over the last couple weeks, Rep. Scott Franklin, R-Lakeland, cast the following four losing votes to:

1. Shut down the government, as championed by Franklin’s lascivious political “wingman” Matt Gaetz.

2. Defy his lascivious wingman Gaetz by trying to save the speakership of Kevin McCarthy from Gaetz’s vengeance over the shut down voted that failed.

3. Pivot back to wingman Gaetz by supporting Gym Jordan, noted wrestling sex abuse enabler and Gaetz ally, to replace McCarthy, who Franklin could not save after also not being able to shut down the government.

4. Try Gym again, and lose worse, after failing to elect him the first time, after failing to save McCarthy, and failing to shut down the government.

When a baseball player strikes out at least four times in a row, it’s become known as the “Golden Sombrero,” a play on hockey’s hat trick for goals.

You can see actual film of three of Scott’s at bats below:

Not sending your best

What new slider will leave Scott’s bat flailing at air today? Who knows?

Whatever pitch he does see, I promise you, he will swing at in the least dignified possible way. I mean, lol, here’s the first thing you see on his official website right now …

Followed by this stuff about woke school lunch or something…

I regret to inform my Polk GOP friends that, well, you are not sending your best, to borrow a phrase from also not one of your best.

I mean there’s Rick “T.I.T.S” Nolte, Jennifer “Lie-and-hide about 6-week forced birth” Canady, and Scott “Gym and Gaetz are my wingmen” Franklin. You’re forcing us to choose between Gow Fields and Neil Combee to determine our property taxes.

Even your judges get suspended for doing gross, unethical things. I mean seriously, how badly do you have to screw up for an anti-woke Florida JQC to urge suspension?

This latest House jiggery pokery proves something I’ve known for a long time:

There is no such thing as a Republican party — just a loose amalgamation of freaks and inherited wealth white people trying to con and/or arouse you into imagining you vaguely hate the idea of “libs” you’ve never met so that this loose amalgamation of freaks and inherited wealth white people can alternatively indulge, hit on/abuse, and knife each other over status on your dime.

Thoughts and prayers.