LOL, Craig Foster: I'm flattered, although I have no idea who you are

The dumbest mystery in Polk County may be solved. A quintessential MAGA man, picking on a woman who is not a public figure, may have revealed himself. Come clean, big man.

Some of you have seen these signs, the existence of which tickle me to no end. Very brief, silly background here on the hilariously mysterious and stupid “Billy Townsend for Village Idiot” (movement?) of a few months back.

Now, the plot, as they say, has thickened — as if with stupidity molasses. The sign below has just appeared in Lake Wales. And that is not my name that I have scratched out. There is a new candidate for “Village Idiot.” She’s not a public figure; and I’m not going to name her.

This sign appeared shortly after a Facebook MAGA bro keyboard warrior named Craig Foster attacked this woman, who is not a public figure, in a post for exercising her basic citizenship rights in Lake Wales.

Moreover, Craig Foster apparently likes dumb signs. He did something with port-a-potty that I don’t really understand around the recent election. Various of my “Village Idiot” signs showed up in Lake Wales

Own up to it, Craig, so I can thank you in public. Also, you might want to review Florida’s invasion of privacy laws

Thus, all, ahem, signs point to Craig Foster as the creative and moral genius behind these virtually identically dumb signs.

So come on and claim it, big MAGA man.

I want to thank you and laugh at you publicly. I want to ask you how often and how deeply you think about me — because that’s hilarious. I mean, is it sexual? I’m a good looking guy and pretty vibrant for my years. So I get it.

But I don’t know who you are; and I tend not to find MAGA men who try intimidate women attractive. That’s basically all MAGA men. So no, not my type. Sorry.

Also, you might want to review legal precedent concerning invasion of privacy. I’m a public figure; this woman isn’t.

My great Aunt Kate Walton made very sure that portraying a non-public figure by name without her permission is an actionable tort in Florida.

Here’s some background.

I look forward to chatting about my campaign. LOL.