Peter Schorsch must have ghost-written Corcoran's "book," right?

Five takeaways from Schorsch's 16 takeaways from a "book" no human being will ever read -- but that will likely shower somebody in cultural welfare grift cash. Plus a bonus Pedicini dunk.

A friend of mine brought this to my attention yesterday morning; and he is no longer my friend. Friends don’t prey on other friends’ vices. He knows what he did.

I mean, ya’ll, I have other shit to do in my life that I am not currently doing because I am writing this. And yet… how can I possibly pass on the fact that a 16-takeaway, 7-page (pasted in Word), 74-paragraph, 2,600-word, 26-minute read Peter Schorsch “review” of Richard Corcoran’s new “book” exists?

You have to know a little bit about public life in Florida, and the, ahem, mutually beneficial Schorsch/Corcoran relationship over the years to understand how funny that set-up is.

My now ex-friend actually wanted me to review the 339-page “book” itself. LOL. I am not so addicted to mocking the Corc-o-verse that I will put that dirty heroin in my veins. This is not some despairing episode of The Wire. I will not become the only human being to buy and read this “book” in a fit of lusty self-degradation. So we’re gonna keep this at the reviewing the review level, for everyone’s sake, but mostly my own.

Here are my five takeaways from Schorsch’s 16 takeaways. Admittedly, I may have skimmed just a bit.

A Velazquez painting himself into “Las Meninas”

When I read this bit of aesthetic analysis from Schorsch, I am reminded of other great artists from history who put themselves into their masterwork portraits of their patrons.

It’s a relatively quick read, broken into digestible chapters often broken further down into easy-to-follow themes. And for those who like to skim, it’s good for that too, with much of the book’s points occasionally repeated because they support a variety of counterpunches against a common villain within the book: “the radical left.” But for those who can’t find the time, or who are looking for a more detailed synopsis before diving in, here are 16 takeaways from the book.

I’m lucky enough to have seen Diego Velazquez’s Las Meninas in person in The Prado, in Madrid, my personal favorite museum. It’s breathtaking.

That’s Velazquez on the left, at the easel, looking at himself approvingly as he paints the Spanish royal family. It’s a charming moment of:

I see you, buddy. You’re awesome.

I think Schorsch has earned the same self-regarding tip-of-the-hat; don’t you?

More like melting the ivory igloo

New College had about 700 students enrolled when the Corc-o-verse invaded Sarasota like the Upside Down in Stranger Things. By contrast, Florida State University, which laughed Corcoran out of his interview, which he thought was rigged for him, has about 44,500. New College is the participation trophy of higher education anti-woke grifting. Background on Dark Helmet’s string of failures pre-New College grift welfare here:

Four failures and a (not really) funny video: the Richard Corcoran story

New College is a mound, not a tower.

The curious absence of DoE-Jefferson

Schorsch’s site “broke” Corcoran’s DoE-Jefferson scandal by at first casting Corcoran as the hero (or at least the victim). See my riffs on that “break” at the time here:

Re-open the Florida DoE/Jefferson bid corruption probe, pt 1: Florida's state education leadership is rotten

Re-open the DoE/Jefferson probe, pt 1.5: Why was politically-connected MGT of America on the RFQ template?

So you might think Schorsch would be eager to share with his readers how Corcoran talks about this massive story that his own site “broke.” Silly you. Florida Politics, to my knowledge, never mentioned DoE-Jefferson again. And there is no DoE-Jefferson takeaway here.

It’s almost like, back in late 2021, Corcoran called Schorsch to ghost write/quietly launder Corcoran’s version of the scandal for a low-key story dropped two days before Christmas to try to undercut the Lawrence Mower/Ana Ceballos blockbuster bid-rigging story he knew was coming.

But that couldn’t be possible.

When did Rufo “write” that forward? What’s his cut of Schroedinger’s grift?

In the great right-wing grift press (in which GOP institutions essentially pay people not to read, like some sort of weird farm subsidy program), Rufo is a name that commands more cash than Corcoran.

Sorry, Dick. It’s just that way.

So Rufo is clearly getting a cut of whatever griftfare gets lavished on this “book.” But here’s the thing. Rufo and his big money buddy Joe Ricketts already seem bored with little New College and/or disillusioned with Corcoran. The “great books” online program went kaput before it ever putted at all. See below. (Also, dead serious here: read my take on the value of a liberal arts education that opens this article linked in the Ricketts article. I’m proud of it:)

Has Joe Ricketts abandoned Richard Corcoran's New College grift?

And speaking of the GOP “book” grift, there’s really no way to know that either Corcoran’s text or Rufo’s forward actually exists. We only know for certain:

• A digital “book” cover exists on Amazon that names Corcoran and Rufo.

• Schorsch wrote a 16-takeaway review of a “book” he may or may nor have ghost-written, which may or may not, in fact, exist in any form beyond Schorsch’s 16 takeaways.

No consumer will ever verify this is a “book” is a book by reading it. It’s Schroedinger’s “book.”

If DeSantis goes DoD, will Corcoran go DOA? Will the Pedicini jinx continue?

Finally, if DeSantis replaces party boy Hegseth as secretary of defense, Corcoran will lose the tiny, mesmerized dictator who has, for some reason, looked after/enriched him. I truly do not understand why DeSantis has kept Corcoran shaded under his umbrella-ella-ella.

But consider this: at the time Corcoran’s hilarious New College salary was announced, President DeSantis was leading Trump in the polls. It went downhill from there, as I recall.

I wrote about Corc’s peculiar hold on DeSantis here here:

And I still love this chart:

Whatever the reason, Corcoran needs outside protection/enrichment. He literally fails at everything except hoovering up taxpayer cash. There are many knives ready for him — and not just from dirty libs like me. See article linked below:

Corcoran's New College crack-up: 7 reasons the BoG should deny his $15M - mostly in his own words

I mean, New College stakeholders and/or legislators might be excused for asking:

Hey Dick, when did you find time to write this 339-page book when the dorms are falling apart and your athlete-kid parents are banding together in angry groups?

Simple answer: he didn’t. LOL.

Also, just for good measure: the Piccolos and Pedicinis are part of the Corco-o-Schorsch-o-verse. (I don’t feel like doing the whole family tree or explaining everything. Just take my word for it.)

So the epic Trumpian humiliation of thirsty Hillsborough Sheriff Chad Chronister, one of Pedicini’s two important clients (Jennifer Canady being the other), whose father-in-law temporarily bought him the DEA job, is another notch off the Pedicini belt. Laugh at him.

Yeah, that’s a gratuitous addendum. It may or may not be relevant to the fun I’m having here. But I’m also mediating here on a “book” that may or not exist beyond its own grift marketing.

So don’t talk to me about reality.